New Year!


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I was reading a newsletter from a friend of mine and among a lot of other things, he states… “Why not make a promise to be more present this coming year, to actually be with the people we associate and live with? With acute conscious awareness, we will discover that every moment becomes a new beginning, and in those moments we get a taste of eternity!”  I love that sentiment.

A ritual that I learned many years ago was to take a peace of paper and write down all your regrets, sorrows, mistakes, wrong-doings, etc. Anything that was less than stellar and write it all down. Then when you feel complete, burn it up. Watch it go up in smoke. If you really want to have some fun and get fancy about it, get some flash paper. Then write one regret for each sheet, then have fun watch it flash burn into the nothingness from which it came. And most important, let the emotion go.

When that process is done, get a new sheet of paper and write down your intentions for the New Year. I’ll let you decide how you want to do it. But, one thing I would keep in mind is when you are writing down ‘stuff’ that you want to accumulate – ask yourself what ‘feeling’ do I think I will have for obtaining that ‘thing’.  Whatever it is. A lot of times we think that ‘something’ will makes us happier when the truth is you can be happy right now. Just decide to be and then find reasons to support it.

Happy New Year and Many Blessings,

Fight for your Limitations?


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One thing that we all seem to have in common is that we fight for our limitations to some degree. We whine and complain that our lives aren’t working and talk  incessantly about what’s wrong and what’s missing. Yet that very conversation keeps everything in place. Yes, we get what we focus on. So what are you focused on? Another way to say this is; where your attention goes, energy flows.

You will NEVER, let me repeat this… You will NEVER get to where you want to be as long as you ARE beating the drum of what’s wrong and what’s not working. That includes self-flagellation, judging, and my personal favorite, justifying why you’re right. You can be right all day long about what someone did or didn’t do, but that is NEVER going to change the situation or get you to where you want to be. Period. End of Story. No exceptions.

So why do we do this? We have programs running in the subconscious—stories we’ve made up about situations… habitual, negative self-talk and negative thinking, etc. Do you think it’s time for a new story—one that is supportive,  motivating, empowering, and gives you a feeling of hope and ultimately excitement? Oh my, what would life look like if you felt excited about your life?! Really, what would it look like? Go ahead—Imagine it. Write it. Draw it. Speak it.

That alone will get you unstuck and starting to move in the direction of your dreams, desires, and aspirations. Start your New Year with a fresh outlook and new conversations.

I can definitely help you get started in the right direction and develop a new perspective and empowering conversations.

Also look for my upcoming workshop, February 1, 2014.

As published in Truly Alive Jan/Feb. 2014 issue.

Human Experience



We each come to this ‘human’ experience to have just that – a human experience. Yet, that is not who and what we are. We are consciousness, spirit, or whatever name you may have for the life-force that exist in all of us while we have this human experience. We are born into families, societies and countries that have ideas and rules about how you and I as this new human should be in order to survive and fit in. I will call this programming.

Here’s the catch…we are trying so hard to fit in, be successful by their definition and please the people around us that we don’t really even question what it is that were trying to fit into. If we do reject and speak out against what is being taught it usually has negative side effects. Then we end up dealing with the negative sides effects rather than trying to understand who and what we truly are and what we came here to experience in the first place.

But there seems to be a growing number of people around the world that are saying no to the status quo. It might be in revolutions, demonstrations, teachings, underground groups, people speaking out, etc. I personally think this is a great thing.

I knew and felt very early on that things were not right, but didn’t know what to do with these feelings. So like a lot of other people, I just quietly tried to fit in. Now I seek out like-minded people and learn and find ways to be true to myself and helping as many others that are on the same path. I’m excited to finally be validated and have the friendships and support to really question what is right for me.

Sounds selfish, but in truth being selfish (in a healthy way) is a really good thing. I don’t mean being selfish at the cost of others, or being selfish in wanting your own way all the time. But being selfish in only doing what feels right for you. No one else really knows what is right for you, only you do. They may think they have your best interest at heart and try to convince you through their beliefs, but that does not mean it’s right for you. I believe that if you are true to yourself that in the long run it puts everyone and everything in the natural right order that it needs to be in for everyone concerned.

I’m not excited about the idea of a revolution to set things right, but I’m not against it if that is what it takes. We’ve been brainwashed into believing ideals that are taking us further away from our internal well-being and happiness and causing us to be more stressed out and unhappier than ever.

It’s time for the pendulum to start swinging the other way. To let go of the outside distractions and came back within to our true selves. To decide for our self what we value, what is really important and meaningful in the long run.

So do you think your living the life you were meant to live? Or are you living the life someone else has planned out and convinced you that you want?









I was talking to a friend last night who is going through a lot of changes right now. What I found so interesting is from the bird’s eye view everything is lining up for this person exactly the way it needs to – to lead them to their heart’s desire. But because they are in the mist of it, it’s hard to see how everything is lining up to support them.

I share this short story to ask you where in your life where something might not seem to be going very well, but is actually nudging you into the direction of your dreams. The one theme that seems to be consistent with all my clients is that they (self included) seem to argue for their limitations or why things won’t work. Then it’s my job to lovingly and persistently walk them through their own resistance to see the light on the other side.

What if we were to give up the resistance and instead ask ourselves what is the gift in the situation instead of complaining about it. I truly believe there is a silver lining in all situations. If nothing else, it helps you to clarify what you don’t want and discover what you do want instead. If you will only take a few moments to look at it that way.

So the next time you are in a less than desirable situation, what if you were to say, that’s interesting what gifts does this situation have to share? Much more powerful words and enables you to move through the situation with ease and much more quickly. You might learn things about yourself that you have not been able to see before.

A couple of years ago I had a friend who I would have a tendency to make jabbing remarks too. They did not deserve that regardless of what they did or didn’t do, and one day they pointed that out to me. I resisted hearing it, but as always, I went home and contemplated what they said. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was true what they said and that it was a learned behavior. What came out of that was a hard look at myself and adjustments in my own thoughts about myself and others. Whatever we picked up as children from repetition can be changed. We are not hard wired! In my practice, I used something called Psych-K to help my clients rewrite undesirable programs that were installed when they were young and are running on automatic. I will write about Psych-K in my November newsletter.

Today I look for the good and gifts that people have to offer and share only those positive aspects. An interesting thing happens when I do that. They get better all on their own without me pointing out or even noticing anything negative.

I hope this idea sparks a cord with you and gives you a new way to look at old situations.

With Love and Light,

Remember, You are the Source. You Decide! ©


It’s all made up!



I remember many years ago sitting in the foothills of Albuquerque, NM looking over the city and thinking to myself, someone, just some one person decided to stop, maybe at the river to water their horse. And others came into agreement with this one person and now there is this striving city with 100s of thousands of people. Everywhere in life this is true.

It even goes as deep as our concept of God. Yes, even our concept of God has changed over the millenniums. There isn’t anything in our lives that wasn’t once an idea in someones mind. Some for the personal improvement of one’s own life, to the improvement of many. Some were to control and benefit at the suffering of others. But either way, it was a thought, an idea that someone made up.

There are no limits as to what can be made up. One of my favorite people Sir Richard Branson of the Virgin Galactic is making space travel commercially accessible. Imagine that! Like buying a bus ticket, except this one will take you to outer space. What’s next?

And it is my belief that we each come into this experience with tendencies, natural abilities, and gifts that can either lay dormant or change the world like Thomas Edison or Steve Jobs.

I knew at a early age that I was to be a teacher, but I didn’t want to be a School Teacher. At 22 the thought occurred to me to be a Spiritual Counselor, but I didn’t want to a Psychologist and I didn’t believe in formal religion. In my late 20’s I discovered that I had a latent talent for graphic design and publishing. I enjoyed that for almost 20 years. Now in my life after raising a family, I have decided to become a Life Coach. It’s the closes I can come to a universal title that may have some meaning. It really incorporates all of them, the Teacher, Psychologist, Spiritual Counselor and Publisher.

So what is my point? That life is made up and you get to make up your own life too. But all too often I hear people makes excuses why they aren’t living fully rather than reason and ways that they can create the life they want. I see so many talented people shy away from their natural gifts which seems to be mostly out of fear.

I too was one of those people until finally I had had enough and made the decision that I wasn’t going to allow someone else to decide my fate anymore. Little did I know what was about to transpire. That was a little over two years ago now. It seems like such a distant life then the one I live today. One full of fun, international travel, meeting new interesting people from all over the world, and most excitably, living on purpose.

I love my life and yet there is room for improvement, expansion and so much more that I can’t even see yet. And it continues to unfold. But I am deciding day by day. I am choosing what is so and right for me.

Are you living your life by someone else rules and ideas of how life ‘should’ be lived, or are you deciding for yourself what you want your life to look like and going for it?

And one final thought, I did not do this by myself. I sought out people that could help me along my journey. Others who have made the change themselves. A mentor or a model of someone I admired and respected. I soon found myself outgrowing that person and looked for others to help me in my expansion of who I could be and who I am becoming. It’s a ongoing story and an ongoing journey. What’s yours?

Remember, it’s all made up… You are the Source, Your Decide! ©

With Love and Light


I use to have this saying:  “Just before any major break-though was a major breakdown.”  I want to update this outdated idea.
How about” “Before a major break-through is a major Conscious Awareness.
Much more loving and gentle way of moving through change. Don’t you think?

Coaching by Jini 2013 ©
Your are the Source ~ You Decide!


Awaken MP3 

To whom it may concern,

It truly is a time of awakening. The truth in everyday life is being revealed a piece at a time. The time of being naive is coming to an end. We are allowing ourselves to see beyond the veil that we’ve been duped into believing. We are becoming ready, able and willing to take full responsibility for all that we’ve done and all that we’ve allowed to be done. No more we say.

No more lies, deception or switch-and-bait. Awaken!

Awaken to who you truly are. Who you are becoming. And who you will become.

We want to know the truth at all levels. The greatness that has lied dormant within us all, waiting for this time of awakening.

At first it disheartening, or even hurtful and painful to see where we have allowed ourselves to be lead awry. No more. We swollen our pride, wipe our tears, and stand up to take action. To make right the wrongs. To vow to be more aware. To discern for ourselves what is right.

No more blaming. No more victims. Only choosing what’s right for us and all those concerned.

I am my brothers keeper. By my awakening, I allow others to awaken. I create a path of my own as an example for others to create their path. Not to follow mine, but to find their own path that is right for them. To lift them up when it is needed. To support them. To Love them as they learn. As we each learn to decide for ourselves. To freely choose as our sovereign right over our own lives.

And so it is, and I let it be.


Coaching by Jini © 2013

Living in Grace

Living in Grace from Honolulu, Hawaii April 22, 2013

Living in Grace MP3 

Aloha! And welcome back to Coaching by Jini.
This conference call was recorded in Honolulu, Hawaii April 22nd, 2013 with my very dear friend Mary Beth Shewan. Who is a Master Certified Coach. You can find out more about Mary Beth and her services at Mary Beth is a transformational coach and very exceptional at what she does. She helps people build Bridges to Brilliance!

This conference call is being transcribe, so visit again soon to look for the transcription of our conference call or listen now to the mp3 – Living in Grace.

I’ll be taking a break from the weekly conference calls and will make announcements about once a month. I am shifting my focus to putting together a workshop to create an experiential experience of what we’ve been talking about and to get back to that natural person that we were when we arrived this lifetime. A free open soul ready to experience life to it’s fullest before all the conditioning started, and to go forward from that new place.


And remember, Your are the Source, Your Decide.

Copyright © 2013 Coaching by Jini

Self Trust

Welcome back and thank you for joining us tonight and taking time for yourself.

I am Jini as in Coaching by Jini and I will be your host tonight. It is my great pleasure and delight to be hosting these calls. I am excited to announce that about once a month we will have some very special guests on our conference calls. Next Monday, April 22nd we will be calling from Hawaii and I will have Mary Beth Shewan, a Master Certified Coach with us. You can find her online at She is a transformational coach who helps people build Bridges to Brilliance. So, listen next week for more.

And just a reminder that these conference call will be available as mp3s on my website at

It is my intention that these calls will inspire, uplift and provide you with insights as to a way forward to more self love and self acceptance. Therefore providing us with more love and acceptance towards others. And to have a life full of more joy and flow.

The last couple of weeks we have been focused on different aspect of Self Love.
Last time I talked about Compromise, which you can find on my website. Tonight I would like to focus on Self Trust or the lack of it.

And as usual, I would like to take a few moment to get us focused in the present moment before we begin. Releasing the day’s issues, tensions and allowing this time for yourself.

So then let’s get comfortable and begin…

So the first thing I’d like to do is to get fully present in this moment. To let go of the day’s stresses and distractions. And to become fully present in this Now moment. I hope you have given yourself this time and have created a quiet space where you can relax and just be here fully present. If your driving or doing something else, please just keep your eyes open.
So look around the place where you are and look at some objects. A chair, a table, a lamp. If you’re by a window, see a tree or a bird. Just become aware of them without labeling them. Notice the silence there where they are. Touch something and become aware of who is feeling what you are touching. Take a deep breath and allow it to expand your stomach below your naval and as you exhale feel the tension leave your body and feel the support of whatever your sitting on. Continue to take slow deep breaths and become aware of your breath. Become aware of who is noticing your breath. Just relax and come into this present Now moment. Just continue to breath and become aware of right now.

Self Trust

Self trust is synonymous with self reliance.

The dictionary defines Trust as: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

Self Reliance is: reliance on oneself or one’s own powers, resources, etc.

If we are creators, 100% responsible for our reality, then why do we worry, have fear and don’t trust ourselves and/or others? Why do we lack self trust and self reliance?

Could it be all the broken promises we’ve made? The ones where we proclaim we will do this or that and then didn’t? This includes the promises to ourselves as well as others.
Is it because we have become externally focused? Comparing ourselves to others.
Or because we have been taught in our families, churches and governments to rely on some external authority? And not trust ourselves. That some how others know what’s best for us.

Maybe it’s some of these or all of them.

One of my favorite statements is ‘In God We Trust!’ Really! Do we?

What if you didn’t keep your word. Was there a unspoken, underlying reason why you didn’t?
Let’s say you’re on a diet, but in a moment of weakness you had some sugar. Now you spend the rest of the day beating yourself up and making yourself wrong and have more sugar to comfort the bad feeling you now have. Now the viscous cycle continues.

Why did you want to lose weight in the first place? Because you thought you ‘should’. Because others makes you wrong for being overweight? Because you lack self love? Will-power alone will not help you lose weight and keep it off, not in the long run because you haven’t address the root cause.

What if you were late to work. What do you do? Find some outside cause? Like blaming traffic. Is it really because you overslept. Or didn’t allow enough time.

Apply this to anything where you didn’t keep your word. What was the root cause? The truth behind it?

What about the way we dress, the car we drive, the houses we live in. Are we consumed by external appearances that we’ve shut ourselves completely off to that internal knowingness. What if we didn’t have the latest whatever… what if we really liked working in the garden or painting, but oh, what would others think.

Or focusing our strengths to someone else’s weaknesses or vice versus. How exhausting to compare. And we never compare justly. We always set ourselves up to be better or worst. Comparing ourselves is so emotionally debilitating.

What about those things we do because we’ve been taught to do them. Go to school, get a good job, plan for the future, provide security for our families and never question what we are doing.

What if we’re walking around with victim mentalities and think we are at the mercy of outside forces.
Or is it mainly because we have forgotten who we really are or never knew and have identified with our roles we are playing.

Do you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting it to be different this time. We seem to have that built in what I will call our egos. That some how if we repeat the mistake over and over again it will come out right. What if we keep repeating the same mistakes because it has something to teach us and when we can learn what it has to teach us, then we can let it go and move on.

What if we started telling ourselves the truth. Why we do or don’t do something.

The definition of Responsibility that I like best is the ability to respond.
But most the time we react or have a knee-jerk reaction to situations and people.

When you truly know who you really are, then you can have self trust.

Life becomes a endless flow of experiences that we can embrace. It doesn’t mean it is completely blissful. But when you know who you are, you are able to response to the moment as appose to reacting to it, it becomes this beautiful unfolding flow.

I use the word flow a lot. It’s the difference between swimming upstream with struggle and against the current or going down steam with current and the flow.
Aikido is a Japanese martial art “the Way of unifying (with) life energy”. Aikido is performed by blending with the motion of the attacker and redirecting the force of the attack rather than opposing it head-on. So the image might be, someone is coming straight towards you. You calmly step aside and allow the attacker to fall on his own face.

Why do I bring this up? I want to demonstrate what I mean by going with the flow.
We use a lot of our life force and life energy struggling against life, draining ourselves of vital energy.
What does this have to do with self trust? We all have an innate intelligence to draw from that guides us. When we learn to tap into it and use it, then we can respond to life from that place of Trust with ease and grace. Which enables us to let go of the struggle. Then we start to enjoy the unfolding of our life’s journey.

The fist step is always to come into this present now moment. Not living out of heads, out of some past memory that doesn’t even exist in the present moment.

What would it take to believe in ourselves? To use that innate intelligence we all have?

To breath and to come fully in this Now present moment.

Say someone says something hurtful to us, has anything really changed in the present moment? No. Our reaction to what someone says usually dictates how we react next. What if you stayed in the present moment. Really got into the present moment and without any judgment at all, watch the person saying what they are saying. You could even put funny ears on them. Would it change the impact of what they said? I think so. You would probably be trying to contain yourself from laughing out loud.

Just one little change in perspective changes the whole situation. It just takes a moment to respond to life rather than to react to life.

And not with a smug I better than you, because that’s not true either. We are all the same just expressing ourselves differently. Playing a different role for ourselves or someone else. Trying to manipulate the situation rather than respond.

In Real Love terms as taught by Greg Baer, we all use what he calls getting and protecting behaviors. We act a certain way in order to manipulate the other person or situation. He suggests what if you just make a request. They are a unique individual person who has the free will to choose for themselves just as we do. Maybe they don’t like your suggestion or request. Can you be okay when they decide they don’t want to go along?

And in their saying no, there might be a better situation arise out of it. But we don’t know if we are trying to force the situation.

Self trust is being in the present moment and making decision from your intuition or that small still voice inside. But definitely not in reaction to some stimulus outside of us.

As I said earlier, Self trust to me is synonymous with self reliance. Reliance on one’s own truth. Believing in ones self.

So my definition of self trust would be trusting one’s self that you will know how to respond to a situation when it arises in the present now moment. That you’ve developed your ability to listen and act on that still small voice within that we also call intuition.

I have over simplified this concept and idea just to plant the seed of thought. There are so many facets to this idea of Self Trust, but it’s something to ponder and think about.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this time and received some benefit from tonight’s call.
Thank you again for playing with me. I really enjoyed sharing and look forward to our call next week. Remember you can share this with anyone you think might be interested.
Thank you.

Remember, Your are the Source, Your Decide.

Copyright © 2013 Coaching by Jini